Feeling like I want to share some old poems I've written a while back...they're pretty rough and may change over time but enjoy anyways.
"Working Title"
I rather just lock myself in my bathroom and look upon the pictures you took
but they are all of her now
It could of worked if you wanted it to
I know it seemed impossible but it could of worked
if you wanted it to.
And when I go to sleep you're in my dreams
I'm sure I hold my breath
hoping you breathe it back into me
I hold my breath every time you talk to me
Cuz I'm hoping that you will breathe it back
into me
Words can't even begin to explain the pain
u left me with
Your presence in my life has left an imprint
If only the sun was around when you were around
Instead we hid between my sheets
during the time when rain hit my window
I still hold my breath every time you talk to me
I'm hoping that you'll someday breath it back into me
Words can't even begin to explain the pain
u left me with
Your presence in my life has left
come back...
"Before I Could Regain Myself"
Before I could regain myself again
You intervined
I knew it was wrong
But I'm blind to most
of my mistakes
Was it the real me you fell for
or did the lusty pressure reveal
only a wonderful idea of me?
And before I could justify myself
We were strangers
My love became some foreign island
surrounded with dark and heavy
waves, too deep
A voyage not worth the trip
Not even the crack in you voice
or the mist in your eyes
could comfort the blow
to my ego
I didn't let you give me one last kiss
goodbye
because it would have erased
all the others that came
before...
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Nobody's Perfect
On March 5th 2011 yours truly turned 25 freakin' years old!
A long time ago when I was an infant—like 7 years old, I dreamed of becoming a school teacher, married by age 24 and to be pregnant by 25. PPPPSSSSHHHHHHH!!! I am faaaaaar from any of those expectations. I no longer have an interest of becoming a teacher, my love life should be tapped, and there's no way in H E double hockey sticks I plan on having a kid any time soon.
So what is this 25 year old woman doing? I'm still living in the city of San Francisco. I graduated with a degree in Creative Writing and I'm currently slangin' designer jeans at BloomingHELL (Bloomingdale's). I live with 3 home boys/brothers, and recently bought turn tables. Let's just say I'm living day by day.
Turning 25 however made me feel like time is running out for finding a real career. I moved to San Francisco in hopes of finding one of course but thanks to the horrible job market and economy my B.A. means squiddle lee dee. All last year I sent out numerous resumes and cover letters to different job posts for a writing gig. However, no one wanted to give me a chance not even Twitter. :( Needless to say I became discourage. I was tired of being rejected or feeling no one was giving me a chance, so I just gave up. I eventually got comfortable with my job and stopped looking upon pages and pages of Craiglist for job posts that weren't going to give me a chance anyways.
Last week after recovering from my crazy birthday party, I had an emotional breakdown. (usually happens once a month when my little fiend visits me). Something inside of me wanted to go home. All I kept thinking was I am not where I want to be. I don't have an amazing writing career, I'm not making my name known out in the world, and I'm still working at a stressful retail job. I was convinced that retreating back to Stockton my home town would be a better option to help me save money and start over.
Yesterday, I decided to give home a short visit. All I did was watch reality T.V. and eat stale cereal. It was lonely and boring and all I wanted to do was be a vegetable. All I kept thinking was I'm going to miss all my friends, the amazing SF food, and the fast pace life of the city.
On the drive back to S.F. I was still undecided of what I really wanted to do. However, as I got closer and closer I felt happy because I was coming home. As I crossed the Bay Bridge, I realized I can't give up. Nobody's perfect. I just need to get back on track and keep searching for something out there for me. I fell back in love with the possibilities of the city. So today I made my decision that I can't return back, I came too far to just return home and start all over again.
I was glad to find my friends and roomies with words of encouragement and support on my decision to stay and stick it out. Everything that I need for inspiration, encouragement, and opportunity is here and inside of me. I just keep getting in the way of myself.
Again nobody's perfect and it takes time to find where we all belong in life, and for now I do feel like SF isn't ready to give up on me yet.
A long time ago when I was an infant—like 7 years old, I dreamed of becoming a school teacher, married by age 24 and to be pregnant by 25. PPPPSSSSHHHHHHH!!! I am faaaaaar from any of those expectations. I no longer have an interest of becoming a teacher, my love life should be tapped, and there's no way in H E double hockey sticks I plan on having a kid any time soon.
So what is this 25 year old woman doing? I'm still living in the city of San Francisco. I graduated with a degree in Creative Writing and I'm currently slangin' designer jeans at BloomingHELL (Bloomingdale's). I live with 3 home boys/brothers, and recently bought turn tables. Let's just say I'm living day by day.
Turning 25 however made me feel like time is running out for finding a real career. I moved to San Francisco in hopes of finding one of course but thanks to the horrible job market and economy my B.A. means squiddle lee dee. All last year I sent out numerous resumes and cover letters to different job posts for a writing gig. However, no one wanted to give me a chance not even Twitter. :( Needless to say I became discourage. I was tired of being rejected or feeling no one was giving me a chance, so I just gave up. I eventually got comfortable with my job and stopped looking upon pages and pages of Craiglist for job posts that weren't going to give me a chance anyways.
Last week after recovering from my crazy birthday party, I had an emotional breakdown. (usually happens once a month when my little fiend visits me). Something inside of me wanted to go home. All I kept thinking was I am not where I want to be. I don't have an amazing writing career, I'm not making my name known out in the world, and I'm still working at a stressful retail job. I was convinced that retreating back to Stockton my home town would be a better option to help me save money and start over.
Yesterday, I decided to give home a short visit. All I did was watch reality T.V. and eat stale cereal. It was lonely and boring and all I wanted to do was be a vegetable. All I kept thinking was I'm going to miss all my friends, the amazing SF food, and the fast pace life of the city.
On the drive back to S.F. I was still undecided of what I really wanted to do. However, as I got closer and closer I felt happy because I was coming home. As I crossed the Bay Bridge, I realized I can't give up. Nobody's perfect. I just need to get back on track and keep searching for something out there for me. I fell back in love with the possibilities of the city. So today I made my decision that I can't return back, I came too far to just return home and start all over again.
I was glad to find my friends and roomies with words of encouragement and support on my decision to stay and stick it out. Everything that I need for inspiration, encouragement, and opportunity is here and inside of me. I just keep getting in the way of myself.
Again nobody's perfect and it takes time to find where we all belong in life, and for now I do feel like SF isn't ready to give up on me yet.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Return
Yo,
It has been a very hot minuet since I've been updating my cute little blog. So many things have happened since my last post that I rather just start right where I left off than try to list everything that has happened to me. I will just show you by posting pictures...enjoy!
Graduated @ SFSU c/o 2010
Got to see Wiz Khalifa @ Slim's SF
It has been a very hot minuet since I've been updating my cute little blog. So many things have happened since my last post that I rather just start right where I left off than try to list everything that has happened to me. I will just show you by posting pictures...enjoy!
Graduated @ SFSU c/o 2010
Got to see Wiz Khalifa @ Slim's SF
Caught a free mini Talib Kweli & DJ Hi-Tek show @ Amoeba
Got to meet Fashawn & see him peform @ 111 Minna
As you can see I stay lovin' hip hop all daaaaaaaay!!
Got to meet Fashawn & see him peform @ 111 MinnaAs you can see I stay lovin' hip hop all daaaaaaaay!!
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