Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Nobody's Perfect
On March 5th 2011 yours truly turned 25 freakin' years old!
A long time ago when I was an infant—like 7 years old, I dreamed of becoming a school teacher, married by age 24 and to be pregnant by 25. PPPPSSSSHHHHHHH!!! I am faaaaaar from any of those expectations. I no longer have an interest of becoming a teacher, my love life should be tapped, and there's no way in H E double hockey sticks I plan on having a kid any time soon.
So what is this 25 year old woman doing? I'm still living in the city of San Francisco. I graduated with a degree in Creative Writing and I'm currently slangin' designer jeans at BloomingHELL (Bloomingdale's). I live with 3 home boys/brothers, and recently bought turn tables. Let's just say I'm living day by day.
Turning 25 however made me feel like time is running out for finding a real career. I moved to San Francisco in hopes of finding one of course but thanks to the horrible job market and economy my B.A. means squiddle lee dee. All last year I sent out numerous resumes and cover letters to different job posts for a writing gig. However, no one wanted to give me a chance not even Twitter. :( Needless to say I became discourage. I was tired of being rejected or feeling no one was giving me a chance, so I just gave up. I eventually got comfortable with my job and stopped looking upon pages and pages of Craiglist for job posts that weren't going to give me a chance anyways.
Last week after recovering from my crazy birthday party, I had an emotional breakdown. (usually happens once a month when my little fiend visits me). Something inside of me wanted to go home. All I kept thinking was I am not where I want to be. I don't have an amazing writing career, I'm not making my name known out in the world, and I'm still working at a stressful retail job. I was convinced that retreating back to Stockton my home town would be a better option to help me save money and start over.
Yesterday, I decided to give home a short visit. All I did was watch reality T.V. and eat stale cereal. It was lonely and boring and all I wanted to do was be a vegetable. All I kept thinking was I'm going to miss all my friends, the amazing SF food, and the fast pace life of the city.
On the drive back to S.F. I was still undecided of what I really wanted to do. However, as I got closer and closer I felt happy because I was coming home. As I crossed the Bay Bridge, I realized I can't give up. Nobody's perfect. I just need to get back on track and keep searching for something out there for me. I fell back in love with the possibilities of the city. So today I made my decision that I can't return back, I came too far to just return home and start all over again.
I was glad to find my friends and roomies with words of encouragement and support on my decision to stay and stick it out. Everything that I need for inspiration, encouragement, and opportunity is here and inside of me. I just keep getting in the way of myself.
Again nobody's perfect and it takes time to find where we all belong in life, and for now I do feel like SF isn't ready to give up on me yet.
A long time ago when I was an infant—like 7 years old, I dreamed of becoming a school teacher, married by age 24 and to be pregnant by 25. PPPPSSSSHHHHHHH!!! I am faaaaaar from any of those expectations. I no longer have an interest of becoming a teacher, my love life should be tapped, and there's no way in H E double hockey sticks I plan on having a kid any time soon.
So what is this 25 year old woman doing? I'm still living in the city of San Francisco. I graduated with a degree in Creative Writing and I'm currently slangin' designer jeans at BloomingHELL (Bloomingdale's). I live with 3 home boys/brothers, and recently bought turn tables. Let's just say I'm living day by day.
Turning 25 however made me feel like time is running out for finding a real career. I moved to San Francisco in hopes of finding one of course but thanks to the horrible job market and economy my B.A. means squiddle lee dee. All last year I sent out numerous resumes and cover letters to different job posts for a writing gig. However, no one wanted to give me a chance not even Twitter. :( Needless to say I became discourage. I was tired of being rejected or feeling no one was giving me a chance, so I just gave up. I eventually got comfortable with my job and stopped looking upon pages and pages of Craiglist for job posts that weren't going to give me a chance anyways.
Last week after recovering from my crazy birthday party, I had an emotional breakdown. (usually happens once a month when my little fiend visits me). Something inside of me wanted to go home. All I kept thinking was I am not where I want to be. I don't have an amazing writing career, I'm not making my name known out in the world, and I'm still working at a stressful retail job. I was convinced that retreating back to Stockton my home town would be a better option to help me save money and start over.
Yesterday, I decided to give home a short visit. All I did was watch reality T.V. and eat stale cereal. It was lonely and boring and all I wanted to do was be a vegetable. All I kept thinking was I'm going to miss all my friends, the amazing SF food, and the fast pace life of the city.
On the drive back to S.F. I was still undecided of what I really wanted to do. However, as I got closer and closer I felt happy because I was coming home. As I crossed the Bay Bridge, I realized I can't give up. Nobody's perfect. I just need to get back on track and keep searching for something out there for me. I fell back in love with the possibilities of the city. So today I made my decision that I can't return back, I came too far to just return home and start all over again.
I was glad to find my friends and roomies with words of encouragement and support on my decision to stay and stick it out. Everything that I need for inspiration, encouragement, and opportunity is here and inside of me. I just keep getting in the way of myself.
Again nobody's perfect and it takes time to find where we all belong in life, and for now I do feel like SF isn't ready to give up on me yet.
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